Report by: Richard Whittaker, rajah.com reader
Change of ring, out come Tazz and Cole to a huge pop and here it is…
Smackdown has back to the Erwin Center!
Teddy Long and the Network Guy come out to proclaim Monday’s invasion of Raw
a huge success, and that it will happen again. Suddenly, the Orton clan
interrupt and point out that they were the first ones to invade Raw, not
Long. They demand the ring to themselves and show footage of Piper and Foley
getting RKO’d. Cue the pipes… it’s Piper, with a lead pipe, clearing house
and… saying nothing. Odd.
Booker T (w/Sharmel) def. Orlando Jordan. Seems somebody is actually
remembering what valets are supposed to do, as Sharmel really pumped up the
crowd for Booker. And, on another note, those pyros are hot. I was the far
side of the cameras and still felt them from there.
JBL cuts a promo from the lobby, then walks down through the crowd, beating
up a Rey Mysterio teddy bear and accusing the Hispanic population of Texas
of turning it into North Mexico. He then said that UT would loose the Red
River shootout this weekend (note to Mack Brown – give Sam a shot). Now that
got heat.
Video promo for Orton/Taker at No Mercy and then it’s Ken Kennedy AGAIN.
They must really like this guy. Anyway, he’s guest commentator for our next
match, in which Sylvan unconvincingly beat Bob Holly after a mike-shot from
Kennedy, thus setting up Kennedy/Holly at No Mercy. Let’s see of Kennedy can
really hang, shall we?
Now it’s backstage, where someone remembers that Rowdy Roddy Piper is best
with a mike. A great promo cut on Cowboy Bob, confirming the Ortons versus
Piper for later tonight. Video for Raw, video for No Mercy and it’s back to
the wrestling.
Road Warriors and Burchill/Regal fight to a No Contest after a run-in by
MnM. Seems that one of the most promising tag teams in years, Burchill and
Regal, has become fodder for other people’s feuds.
OK, serious note, Paul Burchill is being kept in a holding pattern. This guy
is one of the best British talents in years, up there with former NOAH tag
champ Doug Williams. When the WWE finally lets him bust out the C-4
Hotwired, his double exploder suplex, you will be shocked, trust me.
And backstage again, with Eddie saying he has Batista’s back and it’s all
cuddly. Meanwhile, back in the ring, the guy with the t-shirt cannon makes
ten people very happy.
Aaaaaaaaaand back to the ring. It’s Eddie again, saying he has Batista’s
back. The place then explodes because The Animal is here. Batista (remember
when people said he couldn’t do promos?) accuses Eddie of levelling him with
a chair last week – Eddie is hurt and outraged by the accusation, so Batista
sets him a test. In a great moment, he hands Eddie a chair and stands with
his back to him. Great theatre. Eddie resists the temptation, but Batista
leaves him with no doubt – stab me in the back and I will hurt you.
Video promo for Rey and JBL this Sunday, video shilling Viva Las Divas (are
they still all even working for the WWE on that disc?), Raw rebound (the
return of Trips, and Austin stunning everyone. Hey, kids, how horrible will
Austin/Hogan be?).
Finally, back to the ring. Orton and Orton (sounds like tax attorneys) take
on Rowdy Roddy Piper… and lose! Piper gets the pin after Orton jr high-tails
it when he hears the teased tolling of Undertaker’s bell. Yes, takers’ dong
is scarier than Roddy Piper. At this point, Orton and Orton are confronted
with half a dozen druids, pulling a casket. Via video, ‘Taker tells them to
look in the casket – they do, and see mannequins of themselves. Like the one
of Taker from three weeks ago, very lifelike – their fake corpse supplier is
a genius.
During their ‘fish out of water’ moment, the Orton’s fail to notice that
Taker has appeared out of nowhere. He clears house and stares them down.
Next up, it’s the weekly ‘jobber on Smackdown’ moment as Bobby Lashley
creams Eddie Craven while Simon Dean does squats. Very odd. Lashley is a
monster and will go far. The pop for the rookie is already huge.
A round-up of the No Mercy matches, and it’s our main event: the postponed
6-man tag team bout from Raw. JBL, Eddie and Christian vs Benoit, Batista
and Rey. Yup, three No Mercy matches in one night. Batista finally gets the
pin on Christian after a bone-jarring spine buster and an excellent match
(although JBL should never stand near Dave – it really shows how flabby he’s
got). They continued to tease Eddie’s weird face turn as he is the one who
actually turns the match for the faces by putting JBL over the top rope,
leaving Christian unprotected. He then stays around to hug Rey, shake
Benoit’s hand and raise Batista’s arm. He then gets jumped by JBL and
Christian, leaving Batista to make the save.
That’s it, everyone, except for the unannounced (so many people had left, it
wasn’t funny) Orton vs ‘Taker dark match. It’s easy to forget, but Taker is
huge, still very good in-ring and had tremendous charisma. He takes the pin
after tombstoning both men, and it’s time for home.
Sidebar: did this week’s invasion of Raw not happen? Teddy and Eddie mention
it, but there are no ramifications from Homecoming whatsoever. No invasion,
no Matt Hardy, no McMahon, no nothing. Very bizarre. Apart from that, all
very good.
Top Pop
Batista
Taker
Benoit (the man is a warrior in the ring and a general out – he did more to
run the crowd than anyone else. He needs a title shot against Batista and
soon)
T-shirt guy (sorry, folks)
Rey
Top Heat
JBL
Eddie
The Ortons
MnM (although Melina off-sets a lot of that by doing the splits)
Simon Dean (for just not being very interesting)
Top indefinable reactions for those that people were just glad to see
Christian.
