The post NYR RAW begins with a recap of the elimination chamber. Mostly stills, but well, and thoroughly done (wish I could have seen NYR *sigh*). I thought it was quite interesting how long and well Masters and Carlito worked together last night.
They then go on to show Vince coming out and announcing the Money in the Bank cash in. I have to say it was a beautifully timed zinger. Not surprising that the only way he could get the title was by basically stealing it, but that’s Edge - he likes stealing things from other men.
Cena’s music hits and he comes out to big pop. He looks a bit annoyed, but is smiling. After the music stops the crowd is mixed. He says he wants to hear the crowd make some noise - it’s mixed. Cena chants start. He says he’s trying to understand it. Life is full of choices. Last night Edge cashed in his money in the bank and beat him. Tonight a lot of people have seemed to have made the choice that Cena sucks. More mixed reaction. But there are folk who made the choice to ride with him through the good and bad time - not because it was the cool thing to do. For the 10,000 million drinking Hate-Or-Aid can kiss his ass.
Tonight he’s going to cash in his rematch clause and wants Edge NOW! Edge’s music hits and Lita comes out with his title. She says he is in luck because he will get a chance to fight for the title, but not tonight. Edge sees things differently. Lita went to talk to Vince. After a bit of ‘oral persuasion’ they agreed that the match shouldn’t be until Royal Rumble.
Edge won’t be doing any fighting tonight, but he will be doing something that begins with “F”. The only wrestling Edge is going to do will be with Lita. They are going to get in the ring, take their clothes off . . .
- Commercial (my TV cut out here, not sure if it was supposed to - Nope, it cuts back in. Sorry for what I missed!)
... The Royal Rumble. Tonight Edge is going to do something the crowd can’t seem to do - get laid. She then threw Cena’s ‘You can’t see me’ back at him.
She was going to leave when he cut her off. “There may be a lot of people who think I suck, but they all know you do.” He tells her to go back stage and tell her boyfriend he made a wise choice for tonight. When Cena sees him at RR he will beat Edge’s ass - “And you can bank on that Bitch!”
Mickie is in the ring dancing. Trish’s music hits and she comes out for a title match. Mickie cuts off Lillian and rips on the crowd for being so quiet. She tells Trish to go back up the ramp, she doesn’t, and Mickie re-announces Trish.
Ashley comes out next. Guess it’s Trish against Ashley. Recap of Ashley’s win at NYR.
The match starts and Mickie rushes the ring causing a delay. Trish tells her to leave. Ashley and Trish tie up. Ashley gets Trish in a Hammer Lock, Trish reverses it. Ashley then reverses it. Trish throws an elbow, but doesn’t get release. Ashley moves Trish into a Headlock. Ashley then goes back to the Hammerlock on Trish. Trish tries with the elbows again to no avail. Finally Trish gets free and hits Ashley with a Fireman’s Carry Takedown and gets a two count. Mickie is all excited.
Trish gets a Hammer Lock followed by a Headlock and a takedown on Ashley. Ashley gets free with a Head Scissors move. Trish gets Ashley back into a Headlock and hits another takedown on her. Again Ashley gets out with the Head Scissors that Trish is able to kick out of. Trish kicks Ashley in the gut. Ashley whips Trish into the corner. Trish jumps up with her ankles on Ashley’s shoulders. Ashley pulls back slamming Trish face first to the mat. Ashley covers for two and Mickie rushes the ring and attacks Ashley. Trish pulls Mickie off Ashley and Mickie dives back on her. Trish drags her off and rips her a new one for getting involved in the match. Mickie is confused by it all. Ashley stomps up the ramp giving Trish dirty looks.
Lillian announces that Trish is the winner and then has to change that to Ashley winning the match by DQ.
- Winner: Ashley via DQ
Promo for RVD being in the Royal Rumble.
Outback Vince congratulates Cena for his elimination chamber match. Cena comments on the zinger last night. Vince says he’s happy they will be facing each other at RR. Vince asks that Cena stay out of the sex in the ring later. Cena says that considering one of them is a certified ho, he’s going sit back and watch. Vince tells him if he gets involved his match at RR is off. Cena assures him he’s going to watch and enjoy the sex.
Cena then tells Vince he should cover his tracks better after ‘oral persuasion’. Vince looks slightly ashamed - slightly.
Masters attacks Carlito outback for Carlito turning on him during the chamber match. Masters wants to make sure he can count on him in the match later. Carlito says it was an accident.
Rob Conway is in the ring for a RR qualifying match. Chavito comes out to face him.
He looks pretty good and plays to the Eddie chanting crowd. Rob takes him down with a Shoulder Block. Chavo slams Rob into a corner and throws some punches. Rob reverses it. Rob gets tossed into another corner and then gets Clotheslined to the mat.
Chavo gets tossed over the top. As he tries to Skin The Cat Rob knocks him to the floor. Rob comes out and pounds on Chavo before throwing him back in the ring for a two count. Rob gabs Chavo’s foot mid-kick, Chavo uses his other foot to kick Rob in the back of the head. Rob rolls from the ring and Chavo dive out onto him.
Back in the ring Chavo hits a Head Scissors and then ten punches in a corner. Chavo only gets two before Rob kicks out. Chavo hits a Cross Body, but Rob rolls through for two. Chavo hits Eddie’s Three Amigos and then climbs. 5 Star Frogsplash and Chavo picks up the three count.
- Winner: Chavo
WM Big Time Moment - The Money In The Bank Match.
Angle confronts HBK outback about what happened in the elimination chamber. HBK says they may have been opponents last night, but tonight they are partners, can he trust Angle. Angle pulls out his medals and says he’s fine, but HBK is known to screw people, can Angle trust him?
Shelton and his Mom are walking along and run into Val. She says she thinks she’s seen his movie. He rattles off a few of his porn movies. Mama goes off on Val saying she is a good Christian woman and Val is going to hell - tonight.
Carlito’s music hits and he comes down to the ring. Masters comes out next with his huge (pathetic) entrance. (My TV cut him off in the middle of his posing. This time I was not upset about it.)
Masters is yelling at Carlito in a corner when Angle’s music hits. Angle comes out with Daivari to ‘you suck’ chants. HBK is last to come out. (He always seems ‘on’, great showman.)
Should be a fun match with no on happy with their partner. Angle is glaring at HBK. They argue about who will start. The other two rush them and attack. Chris beats Angle down in one corner while HBK beats on Carlito. Angle tossed Chris over the side.
HBK hits a Headlock Takeover into a two count. HBK puts the Side Headlock on again. Carlito pushes him of but gets knocked to the mat with a Shoulder Block. HBK hits an Arm Drag and tags in Angle. Angle locks on the Side Headlock. Carlito pushes of and Angle hits a fast Fireman’s Carry Takeover. Angle locks in the Headlock again but Carlito gets out of it. Angle Clotheslines him for two then tags in HBK.
HBK gives Carlito some Chops, but gets kicked in the face. Chris gets tagged in. Chris keeps an Armbar on HBK even after Angle is tagged in. Angle locks on an Armbar, but Chris gets out. Angle gets tossed in a corner, but Angle gets his foot up. Chris hits a Scoop Slam and tries for the Masterlock. Angle counters with a Suplex. Masters tosses Angle into the ring post shoulder first. Carlito rushes across and hits HBK knocking him from the apron. On the floor Angle starts yelling at HBK asking him what the hell he’s doing.
Carlito is beating Angle down in a corner. Angle goes for a Belly to Back but Carlito land on his feet. The second Suplex worked. Both men are on the mat, then both men get the tag. HBK hits and Inverted Atomic Drop and then a Clothesline on each of his opponents. He tosses Carlito out and the climbs. HBK hits a Flying Elbow and the starts to Tune Up The Band. Carlito grabs his ankle and gives him a crotch shot with the ring post. Carlito tags in and gets two on HBK. Carlito locks on a Necklock and has HBK on the mat. HBK gets to his feet and fights out with elbows. Carlito hits a beautiful Standing Dropkick for two. Carlito locks on a Chinlock (HBK chants), but HBK fights out. Carlito hits a horrible Back Breaker on HBK. Carlito gets Back Body Dropped by a floppy HBK.
HBK goes to tag in Angle, Angle walks over to talk to Daivari. Chris gets tagged in and punches the crap out of HBK. A knee to his lower back followed by a Military Press into a Slam. (And again my cable company screws up with the commercials. Someone is either drunk or asleep at the switch!)
Chris locks the Masterlock onto Angle. Sounds like Angle got hit with Sweet Chin Music. HBK’s head is covered with blood. HBK leaves to go up the ramp. Daivari follows and screams at him. HBK hits Sweet Chin Music on Daivari.
The ref drops Angle’s arm three times and rings the bell. From what the announcers are saying it sounds as though Angle walked away from HBK’s tag about four times. They show video of bits of the match.
- Winners: Masters & Carlito
HBK is outback. Vince asks if he is okay. He comments on the blood. Vince asks if he feels good being himself by screwing Angle in the match. Vince says next week it will be HBK versus Angle - rubber match.
Recap of NYR - Big Show versus HHH.
Outback Todd is with HHH. HHH says last night shook up the world. The guy who was on top for nine months was beaten by a guy who wasn’t even in the picture last week. The one constant is HHH. Whatever he says is true. He beat the Big Show like he said he would. Now, and you can put money on this, he is going to win RR and go to WM and win the title. He doesn’t care who he’s fighting - he will win.
Outback Candice, Victoria and Torrie are making the bed for later. The three climb in the bed and pull the covers over their head looking like they are going to do something naughty.
They play the video from WWE.com where Edge says that he and Lita will be having sex in the ring - yay.
The announcers are wondering how far they really will go tonight.
Recap of Stacy on Dancing With The Stars. She was amazing out there, she moved so beautifully. She moves on to the next round.
Shelton comes out with his Mama for a RR Qualifying Match. (THey did a great job with casting her in this role - I’ve always loved her.) Val comes out next. Wonder what Mama’s gonna do to him.
Mama is yelling across the ring at Val while he takes off his towel. Shelton quickly attacks Val who fights back with Chops. Shelton gets hit in the mouth. He rolls from the ring and Mama wipes his face. Val comes out and Shelton hides behind Mama. Shelton gets in the ring. When Val tries to climb in Shelton hits a hard Knee Lift on Val’s face. Shelton then hits a Suplex. Shelton locks on a Chinlock while Mama screams abuse at him.
Val fights out and they exchange Chops. Val hits a couple of Clotheslines and then a Slam for a two count. Val rolls Shelton up in an Inside Cradle for two. Shelton misses the Dragon Whip, Val Slams him and goes for the Money Shot. Shelton moves and rolls Val up for two. Shelton slams some knees into Val’s chest. Val gets tossed into a corner, but moves before he can be Splashed.
Shelton goes for the T-Bone, but Val blocks it. Val backs into the ropes where Mama jams her hat pin into Val’s bum. Shelton covers Val for the win.
- Winner: Shelton Benjamin with help from Mama
Kane comes out for a RR Qualifying Match. His opponent is Snitsky who is already in the ring. Snitsky attacks fast dropping Kane with a Big Boot. Kane gets right back up and gives a Big Boot of his own. Kane hits a Clothesline, a Side Slam and a Chokeslam and got the three for the win.
Kane takes a mic and says that was just his first casualty on his way to WM. There at 29 more victims waiting for him at RR.
- Winner: Kane
Outback is a limo. Edge comes out and Lita plows into him. He tells her to save it for the ring. (Um, yuck.)
The bed is set up in the ring. Lillian announces Edge. He and Lita come out to the ring together. She’s actually wearing a skirt - strange.
Edge takes a mic and uses Cena’s ‘champ is here’ line to boos, but not a huge reaction. He says the best part is that none of us saw it coming. He outsmarted us who think we all know what’s going to happen in the ring. He fooled us all - even all the elimination chamber members. They about killed themselves in the chamber. He wonders why bother. You don’t have to be the biggest, strongest or toughest - just the smartest. He was patient, just like he was with Lita (barf). He saw what he wanted and snuck in and took what he wanted. Last night he took the title.
He wants to reminisce. So he shows a video of his career. It was a huge ‘I love me’ video up to and including his win last night. There was very little response from the crowd. He says they abstained to save themselves for tonight. He says it’s time for the celebrations to begin.
He takes his boots off - 70's porn music is playing - he then takes her boots off. He unzips her corset and drops it to the floor, leaving her in her bra. She takes off his jacket and shirt. He takes her skirt off - red panties and black lace garter belt. She takes off his pants - black and red skivvies. He bends her over the bed and un does her bra. She hold it on and stands to kiss him. He pushes her onto the bed. She climbs in and tosses the bra. He climbs in and gets on top. He disappears and comes out with her panties in his teeth. Now Lita is on top. She disappears and he plays with his new belt.
Flair’s music hits and her shocked face pops out. He says Edge is a disgrace to the title. It take blood, sweat and years of hard work to prove you are champ quality. Tonight he has not only prove he is a bad champ, but he’s dead in bed. Flair says he’s talking to Lita. He takes his jacket off and comes to the ring.
Edge gets his draws on and they fight. Edge hits Flair with a chair and busts him wide open. He sets an chair on the announce table, puts Flair’s head on it, climbs on the table and does a one man Con-Chair-tow.
Cena comes through the crowd and attacks Edge who grabs his belt and goes up the ramp. Cena rips off his top and Lita hides completely under the covers. Cena gets a silly look on his face and peeks under the bedding at her. He then turns back and taunts Edge. (Again my cable company cuts to commercial at the wrong time.)
Cena in the ring and Edge on the top of the ramp screaming at each other. I don’t know what I missed (bloody cable company!)
Edge & Lita