Report by: pwinsider.com
The first Smackdown of 2005, emanating from the Mohegan Sun Casino in Uncasville, CT, began with the usual opening video.
Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio
Eddie came out first with his low-rider entrance to a great pop. Tazz and Michael Cole reminded us that last week Mysterio and RVD eeked out a win over Guerrero and Booker T. to successfully defend the WWE Tag Titles. Mysterio came out next, with a video camera in hand, to an equally strong pop. Eddie took Rey's camera and got a nice shot of Joy sitting at ringside. Eddie started with a hammer lock into a side headlock. Eddie worked the arm some more until Rey reversed into an arm drag/head-scissors takeover. Rey catapulted out of a monkey flip attempt into a sunset flip for a two count. Rey hit a tilt-a-whirl head-scissors and a boot to the gut. Eddie countered with a facebuster. Eddie locked in an armbar and Rey struggled to get to the ropes. Eddie went back to the hammerlock as the crowd went into a "619" chant. Eddie continued to work the arm with a chicken wing on the mat, doing a head stand to add leverage. Rey went for a springboard moonsault but got caught. Eddie put Rey into the Tree of Woe and worked the ribs with some boots to the midsection. Eddie charged but Rey sat up and Eddie went shoulder first into the post as they went to commercial.
Back from commercial, Mysterio was suddenly in control. He hit a springboard plancha and leg drop during the break. Fans began chanting for Eddie as Mysterio worked an arm bar in the center of the ring. Eddie worked out of the armbar and hit a DDT for two. Mysterio came back with some rights and then the two traded sleeper holds. Rey landed some stiff kicks to the ribs and then hit a moonsault for two. Rey went back to the sleeper on the mat and grapevined Eddie's right arm as well. Eddie got back to his feet with some elbows and went for a powerbomb, but Rey floated over and dropkicked Eddie into the middle rope and went for a 619 to no avail. Rey whipped Eddie into the corner and went for Bronco Buster but Eddie moved out of the way. Rey shot Eddie into the ropes and hit a monkey flip and then went for a rana but Eddie hung on to the ropes. Eddie floated over for a sunset flip off the top for a quick two, but Rey quickly nailed a low dropkick for another two count. Eddie sent Rey into the corner and went for a rana but Eddie tossed Rey over his head right into the referee. Eddie then decided to take advantage by going outside for the tag strap. Eddie put the belt on a prone Rey and then pretended to lay down. However, Rey turned the tables on Eddie and put the belt back on him as the ref came to. In a funny spot, Eddie hid the belt from the ref but got caught as he tried to toss it out of the ring. The ref threatened to disqualify Eddie. Eddie laid on the ropes in frustration so Mysterio decided to go for a 619. Eddie ducked and rolled Rey up in a small package. Rey managed to roll through the small package and got a three count for the win at the fifteen minute mark.
Backstage, Heidenreich thanked Paul Heyman for helping him out of the casket stipulation at the Royal Rumble. Heyman reassured Heidenreich that he would take care of the situation for him. They then promoted a "Battle Rap" between John Cena and Kenzo Suzuki for later on.
Back from commercial break, Carlito Caribbean Cool made his way toward the ring area with a clipboard in hand as he sat next to Tazz and Cole at the announce table. Carlito revealed that the clipboard was a petition to get rid of Theodore Long as Smackdown GM, then left the announce position.
Funaki vs. Akio (Cruiserweight Championship Match)
Funaki came out first followed shortly by Akio, who had a brand new look. Funaki started out working the arm and then hit a tilt-a-whirl headscissors. Meanwhile, Carlito walked into the ring with the petition during the match. He continued to work his way around the ring area getting fans to sign. In the ring, Akio hit an enziguiri for a two count. Akio missed a spin kick and Funaki hit a back body drop. Funaki hit a bulldog for two. Funaki went to the corner but Akio caught him with a spinning heel kick for two. Akio then went for a corkscrew moonsault but missed. Funaki quickly climbed the turnbuckle and hit a tornado DDT for the victory in just over three minutes. Meanwhile, Carlito tried to get Joy to sign his petition but she politely turned him down, which led to a delayed apple shower right in the face and cleavage region. Michael Cole put over that Carlito was a pig as they went to break.
Smackdown returned from break with Heyman pleading with Teddy Long about the casket match with the Undertaker at the Royal Rumble. Heyman told Long that a casket match was "cruel and unusual punishment" and Heidenreich began getting restless as Heyman described the torture of being locked inside a casket. Teddy Long replied that if Heidenreich could win his match against the Undertaker tonight, then the stipulation would be removed and Heidenreich would be able to name the stipulation for their match. However, the catch 22 was that it was a handicap match pitting Heidenreich and Heyman against the Undertaker. Heyman panicked and complained but Heidenreich reassured him that everything would be okay.
Amy Weber approached Kurt Angle while he was talking with his normal entourage. She told Angle that she saw some opportunities for him after the Royal Rumble. She invited him back to her locker room after his match to "talk about it some more privately."
The goofy Royal Rumble = West Side Story video aired as we return from commercial break.
Kurt Angle vs. Brian Black
Time for the weekly edition of the Kurt Angle Invitational as Tazz and Cole plug the Triple Threat Match for the WWE Title at the Royal Rumble between Angle, Big Show and JBL. Angle snatched the mic and said that this week he had to not only win his match, but he had to make his opponent tap within three minutes or he will award his opponent his Olympic Gold Medal. His jobber err ... opponent this week is Brian Black, who promptly went for the cheap pop. Angle quickly swatted Black with a right hand, slapped him around on the mat, hit a couple of stiff kicks to the gut and locked in the Ankle Lock for the quick victory ... 26 seconds according to Tazz.
Backstage, Daniel Puder ran into Torrie Wilson and Miss Jackie. Puder introduced himself as the Tough Enough Champion. Torrie reminded Puder that Jackie was a Tough Enough Champion as well. Puder then heeled Jackie about the boyfriend incident on TE 2 and then rubbed in her recent dumping at the hands of Charlie Haas. He said "what goes around comes around" and that all the women want is his money.
A WWE 24/7 video package aired as they continue to promote this tremendous new feature.
John Cena vs. Kenzo Suzuki in a Battle Rap
Michael Cole was the MC for this monumentous event. Kenzo came out in an Uncle Sam costume with Hiroko to some decent heel heat. John Cena came out next to a thunderous pop. Cena handed his towel to a young fan at ringside and then grabbed a sign that read "The Chain Gang." Cole said that the two combatants would wrestle for the US Title next week. Kenzo took the mic from Cole and told Cena he was about to get served. Kenzo did a rap that was supposed to be America-friendly. Many of his words were difficult to understand. He did the "you can't see me" line in Cena's face. The fans then erupted into a "Cena" chant to the dismay of Suzuki and Hiroko. Cena told Suzuki he was just a chump in a suit and that this (points to the fans) is the real USA. Cena then went into his usual Michael Cole/gay joke before he began making disparaging remarks toward Hiroko and her makeup. Suzuki handed the mic to Hiroko who began her rendition of "Crazy Love." Cena referred to her as Yoko Ono and told her to stop. Cena told the fans he had something everyone wanted to see. He brought out the Divas (Lauren, Michelle and Rochelle). Cena pandered to the crowd some more as another "Cena" chant erupted. Meanwhile, Kenzo liked what he saw in Michelle McCool. Hiroko attacked Michelle and then Kenzo went after Cena. Cena came back with some right hands and cleaned house. Cena closed by saying, "if you want some, come get some" as Cole hyped their match for next week.
Back from break, they announced a Fatal Four Way Tag Team Title Match for next week's Smackdown featuring RVD & Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero & Booker T. vs. The Bashams vs. Mark Jindrak & Luther Reigns.
Rob Van Dam vs. Doug Basham
RVD came out first accompanied by Rey Mysterio to a nice ovation. Doug Basham came out next with Danny Basham and Orlando Jordan. After the bell sounded, Basham took RVD into the corner and the two men traded right hands. Fans chanted "RVD" as Van Dam worked Basham to the mat. RVD hit an atomic drop but missed a wheel kick as Basham slid to the outside. Basham went after Rey who pushed Basham down to the floor. The referee, seeing only Rey's retaliation, promptly sent Rey back to the locker room. RVD hit a baseball slide and then a moonsault. RVD tossed Basham back into the ring for a cover but Basham tossed RVD back outside. Basham tossed RVD into the ring steps and then measured some knees to the back after tossing RVD back inside the ring. Basham grabbed a bow and arrow to continue working the back of Van Dam. Basham went to the top rope but RVD caught him and landed a series of kicks. RVD hit a monkey flip out of the corner and then followed up with a thrust kick. RVD hit the Rolling Thunder and started to go to the top for the Five Star Frog Splash but was distracted by Danny. Jordan came into the ring and handed Basham a lead pipe. Meanwhile, Jordan distracted the ref and the Bashams did the switcheroo. Danny hit a spinning, sit-out chokeslam and got the three count at the five minute mark.
Backstage, Kurt Angle walked into what he thought was Amy Weber's locker room prior to the commercial break.
Back from the break, Angle was shown waiting patiently for Amy Weber inside her dressing room. He decided to go into the bathroom where she was apparently taking a shower. Angle decided to strip down to his skivvies and join Weber in the shower only to find out that it was Joy Giovanni instead. They both began screaming as Joy begged for Angle to get out of dressing room. Angle then swiped the towel away from Joy. Angle chased after her only to find her in the comforting arms of the Big Show. Angle attempted to explain the situation while zipping up his pants but the Big Show had none of it. Big Show chased Angle all the way out to the ring and the two began brawling. Big Show landed a head butt and then a vicious chop in the corner. Jindrak came in with a chair but was met with a big boot and a chokeslam. Big Show booted a charging Luther Reigns but then Angle nailed Show in the back with the chair. Show turned around and punched the chair into Angle's face and tossed him out of the ring to a big pop.
Back from commercial, they aired a replay of the preceding events.
Backstage, JBL bragged about his little set-up of Angle to Amy and Orlando Jordan. He peeled off the "Amy Weber" sign in front of the locker room of Joy Giovanni as the three had a good laugh about it. JBL praised Amy Weber as a great Image Consultant.
Time for this week's Raw Rebound. They aired highlights of the Elimination Chamber buildup from Raw including the Batista/Benoit and the HHH/Orton matches. No pictures of Edge and Jericho until the Main Event melee that led to Orton pinning the Game.
Meanwhile, Heidenreich was shown boxing the wall in his dressing room as Heyman approached him to see if he was ready for their match. Heyman reminded Heidenreich that if they win tonight, he won't have to worry about a casket match and that Heidenreich will get to choose the stipulation for their Royal Rumble match. Heidenreich once again reassured Heyman that he had nothing to worry about.
Undertaker vs. Heidenreich and Paul Heyman
Main event time as Heidenreich came out with his usual, delirious facial expressions. Paul Heyman appeared to look worried as Cole put over that he was "petrified" about getting into the ring with the Undertaker. Taker then came out to his smoked-filled, deadman entrance to a big pop (although I've heard bigger for Taker). Bell rang and the two locked up. Heidenreich grabbed a headlock and then hit a shoulderblock, but Taker popped right up. Heidenreich hit another shoulderblock, but then Taker executed a hip toss and an arm drag. Taker then went to the ropes for Old School but Heidenreich punched out of it. Heidenreich body slammed Taker and landed a pair of elbows for a two count. Heidenreich grabbed a rear chin lock as the crowd went into a "Taker" chant. Taker tried to punch out but Heidenreich gave him a boot to slow his momentum. Heidenreich worked Taker in the corner but Taker reversed and landed some rights of his own. Heidenriech went for a clothesline but Taker ducked under a hit of flying clothesline on Heidenreich instead. Taker hit snake eyes in the corner and then landed a big boot. Taker then went back and hit the Old School elbow drop. He then dropped to his knees and summoned the druids who brought out a pair of caskets as Heidenreich went ballistic. The first casket opened next to the ring and Heidenreich quickly tagged in Heyman and then jumped the rail and headed for the exits. Taker focused his attention toward Heyman who looked he had just soiled himself. Taker picked up Heyman and delivered the Tombstone, then he turned his attention toward the casket. Taker rolled Heyman into the casket and shut the lid. Taker's music began playing so the match officially ends in a no contest (I guess) as the lights fade to black.